Is having an affair a poor judgement? (Part-1)

Loud everywhere everyone is saying —

One of the greatest military minds in modern American history is off the battlefield now.

And by now, who hasn’t heard… David H. Petraeus, director of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and one of the most decorated American generals has resigned, and he also agreed after a Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) investigation uncovered evidence that he had been involved in an extramarital affair.

“After being married for over 37 years, I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair,” Petraeus said in his statement, expressing regret for his abrupt departure.

As I hear the news about the resignation of the CIA director, I’m shocked and surprised that his resignation is accepted by his department. Is having an extra marital affair, that too for a brief period, a reason big enough to give up such an illustrious career? He too is just a normal human being.

I would like to ask the FBI and the CIA … Name me one who is not involved outside his or her marriage!!! They should have balanced his work against his such act and then decided. It’s a weird world out here and reasons are less.

As I read the story of David. H. Petraeus, it got me thinking and reminded me of a book I had read some time back …

A long time ago in Hindu mythology … there was this woman whom we all know as Panchaali… She falls in love with this young man known as ‘Karn’ but is forced to hide her affection for him… she is then married to the ‘Pandavas’ …  and it is said that she loved all her five husbands … one more man with whom she shares immense love … who is also her ‘sakha’ (best friend) and is called ‘Krishna’ … I was so engrossed and hooked to the “Palace of Illusions” by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni…

Many a million times I must have read and seen the  ‘Mahabharat’, but for the first time I realised that there was another story to the whole epic…  the version of Draupadi… How she copes up with the turmoil and the saga leads to her wedding and then the game where they lose her to the enemy and how they survive the long difficult years in the jungle… Also how she devotes her loyalty to all her five husbands… and also to her sakha Krishna. Unconditional and pure love is what they shared.

It got me thinking… Is it possible to love more than one person with the same intensity at the same time… be it man or woman…

In the earlier centuries kings had so many wives and so many concubines and that was a way to judge their strength and power. They used to visit them as per their mood swings and leave them as and when they wanted. The same was said to be true for the queens. They all did have happy marriages.

In today’s time if we do it — it is known as an  ‘Extra Marital Affair’…

I have met so many people of both genders who are in love with more than two people… and this is pure … simple … unconditional love… I was surprised as they love their spouse truly and are very dedicated to their children too.

Some have turbulent marriages and are very unhappy with their spouses… some have suspicious partners … some lack trust and some relations are void of love… some are plain lonely… But again… does any sort of reason allow you to step out of your sacred marriage and share your love with the other person…

Some times as in most cases I saw or who confessed to me were people who fell in love out of their marriages all of a sudden. By the time they realized what is right and what is wrong … they were too deep in the relationship to withdraw.

Some did try to but sadly could not bring themselves to disconnect with the other person. Some of these relationships brought so much happiness surprisingly in their respective marriages… Some brought the romance back… Some brought laughter back…

Some just went around for fun and some spice…

My question to all is…  What do you do if it does happen to you…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        to be contd…


7 thoughts on “Is having an affair a poor judgement? (Part-1)

  1. The love we feel for one- for our partner is us being zombies to nature’s mechanism in our brains, which requires us to mate to ensure survival of the species. It is animal love and a big feature of this love is possessiveness for the partner. This is really not true love ( though, off course one can and does have true love for one’s partner). This is us on an earthy plane. Real true love is not for one person , it us for every person , in fact for everything, plants, flowers, animals, mountains -everything in creation. The plane of this love is not that of the earth but of something that transcends the physical world . When a women , or for that matter when a man loves many , they feel this real love which fills their soul with a divine richness and they overflow with it and then obviously they automatically start loving their first even more. If only we could see ourselves for what we actually are – full of joy, love and beauty; see ourselves beyond the survival mechanism that nature has built into each of us for the very practical purpose of survival . Very ,very few indeed are blessed to know their own true selves and know love where ever it is around them. You are doing more by your writings than you realize. His special child who is connected to His beauty, love and joy so effortlessly. Believe me there is not 1 in a million who soul shines so bright . The rest are so covered with grime that they can’t see their own beauty and yet others have to work very hard and make an effort to catch glimpses once in a while of niriti ( this Hindi word best express it). So stay smiling continue to spread the sunshine.


  2. Pingback: Engaging Online Like An Affair – Gappuccino’s Story | g caffè

  3. Pingback: Is having an affair a poor judgement? (Part-2) | g caffè

  4. I am not pro-extra marital affair per se but I think over-looking all the other characteristics of the person because of the affair is unfair. Coming to CIA director’s resignation, I am not quite sure if we have the whole story. He resigned due to extra-marital affair is what we have been told but is that the actual reason? We don’t know.

    Anyway coming back to the issue of love and marriage, I have a post lying in my drafts about correlation of love and marriage. May be it is time I completed it and posted it. Have you seen the movie Vicky,Cristina and Barcelona?


    • hie Sapna…I’ve seen the movie in bits n pieces. hee hee…!!! I’m so looking forward to your post. Post it ssssssooooonnnnnnnnnnnnn………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  5. Very well drafted…..its a serious common issue in today’s life style….every person somewhere in their life do fall in love with more then one…matter is how beautifully u survive that pressure…I personally know few who start loving someoone else outside marriage just because its in fashion…..and there are others who just presume they are in love….its not that easy to love more then one at the same time…..One need to be very Çapable to handle the pressure and very rare someone come out as winner…otherwise life is not better then hell…..


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