And someone asked … how do we make our parents happy?
Well I did have a laugh on it to begin with… but it was a serious issue. Come to think of; is it possible to make anyone happy, ever?
Parents are the toughest ones to please and yet on the other side you can’t live without them.
I would ask why you would want to make them happy. They crib, complain, throw tantrums and taunts on their kids and many times even grandchildren. On the other side they are the ones who pamper, spoil, love you to the hilt and cuddle when you need it. Am I not right?
Have you ever tried to see into them? We must always remember they are a generation older to us and born in a different world where things were not so easy. They also had to maintain good and bad relations with the relatives and the society. They could not say … IDK which means I Don’t Care. Those who did dare to say were shunned by all.
They were fighting and struggling in every which way, be it financial, economic or social changes that were taking place. Their palatial and patriarchal lifestyles were changing into nuclear families and two bedroom flats where one doesn’t have even a window to peep outside many times leave alone a garden. They must miss having their tea in a big lawn with everyone sitting together and feet touching the grass. It’s not a big deal for the new generation now but for those who did live a life like this it is a big deal.
A lifetime they achieved with perseverance, patience and courage seems slipping away thanks to the new so called happening changes must be so scary for them. But yeah … who cares!!! It was their duty and their choice. Why should we bother thinking about all that?
True, we should not. They fought their own battles and we have to fight our own. You know I never looked at my mother as a daughter in law ever till I got married. It is then when I realized how much she must have struggled to keep her relations. It goes for all the women and men around. Never saw my dad as a husband. Good or bad is a different question. He was just ‘My Daddy’ till then…after I got married I realized he was a man too with emotions and would get hurt too.
So many relations and emotions we understand only when we reach that stage and then we feel yeah our parents were correct.
So you see, to make them happy put yourself in their shoes and then assess what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes you simply follow what they say and quietly do the desired. It is not necessary to raise a NO for everything. Sometimes you must just ignore and let things be. It all depends how much you can take and what the situation demands. At times the elders can be really obstinate and stubborn but that it is time when you must use some tact and take a path that is good for all. Did they not bear your tantrums and anger outbursts?
Just be good, don’t try and make them happy. In your happiness lies their happiness.
I’m sure as parents you must be feeling the same for your child as I do. As a mother when I feel – My kids should not make the same mistakes that I did. I can save them from the disasters I made through in life. Though they will fall but am sure they will bounce back. That makes me happy.
Listen to your heart. In a nutshell, all parents and elders look for is a little love and respect, despite the differences. But then, don’t we all do the same…!!!