Geetanjali Kaul with son Vivan Kaul

Are we ever ready to let go?

All our motherhood period we look for ‘Me Time’ and time out for ourselves, not knowing that one day when it hits, there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Well, here I’m with a lot of ‘Me Time’ and guess what I don’t want it now! My eldest turned 17 and is raring to go out to do all that adults do and become an independent ‘Man’.  But the question is – Am I ready to let go?  Continue reading Are we ever ready to let go?

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When my husband & I answered questions on love

My friend Harshika Daryanani wanted to do a story on couples who’re in very different phases of marriage. For this she desired that Ashish and I tell her our definition of Love, so that she could study and share if love changes with time, or if distance makes any difference in the lives of couples? Here’s how we – Ashish and I replied to her questionnaire:

My Answers

  1. How did you guys meet? What was the first thing that struck you?

Ans:  We met through our parents. It is an arranged marriage. The first thing that struck me was that his mother i.e now my Mum-in-Law was just like an angel. She was so full of dignity, grace and love… got me thinking if the mom is so good, the kid would be so too. And yes he did not prove me wrong. The same dignity, grace and love I feel even now after 20 years of my marriage.

  1. What does the term “Love” mean to you?

Continue reading When my husband & I answered questions on love

My Vice Head Boy

When you are bringing up kids, you always wonder at every step. “Is this right? Am I doing the right thing?” Such thoughts cloud the mind, many nights and days.

And everyone you meet somehow has the authority to tell you what is good for your kid. Some say out of genuine concern and others are simply jealous. Yes! I never used to believe that people who appear so close, can harm you in any way. But, life has its own ways to show you the truth.

Recently, I heard a lot about my teenage son (mind you he is a good boy) and mostly it was to prove that what I’m doing is wrong. It got me wondering … are they right?

Why would anyone give me a wrong feedback? Maybe it’s me who is not paying enough attention (though its never enough), maybe I’ve given too much liberty (which I have), maybe I’m too soft on my kids?

Well, how good is parenting or how bad, one can never measure, can we? As I let all these doubts cloud my mind, in my heart I knew I was doing the right thing or maybe what is right in the prevailing circumstances. And guess what, he did prove me right!

The school had its investiture ceremony and he walked down the red carpet, head held high, to take the badge of the ‘Vice Head Boy’ of the Senior Secondary School.

Happiness rolled down my cheeks in the form of tears and pride stayed back in my smile.

And proudly for the next two weeks I showed off my ‘Vice Head Boy’ to each and everyone who ever doubted me.

He may be the Deputy as of now but for me he is the ‘Head Boy’ and I’m a proud mother!!!

How to make your parents happy?

And someone asked … how do we make our parents happy?

Well I did have a laugh on it to begin with… but it was a serious issue. Come to think of; is it possible to make anyone happy, ever?

Parents are the toughest ones to please and yet on the other side you can’t live without them.

I would ask why you would want to make them happy. They crib, complain, throw tantrums and taunts on their kids and many times even grandchildren. On the other side they are the ones who pamper, spoil, love you to the hilt and cuddle when you need it. Am I not right?

Have you ever tried to see into them? We must always remember they are a generation older to us and born in a different world where things were not so easy. They also had to maintain good and bad relations with the relatives and the society. They could not say … IDK which means I Don’t Care. Those who did dare to say were shunned by all.

They were fighting and struggling in every which way, be it financial, economic or social changes that were taking place. Their palatial and patriarchal lifestyles were changing into nuclear families and two bedroom flats where one doesn’t have even a window to peep outside many times leave alone a garden. They must miss having their tea in a big lawn with everyone sitting together and feet touching the grass. It’s not a big deal for the new generation now but for those who did live a life like this it is a big deal.

A lifetime they achieved with perseverance, patience and courage seems slipping away thanks to the new so called happening changes must be so scary for them. But yeah … who cares!!! It was their duty and their choice. Why should we bother thinking about all that?

True, we should not. They fought their own battles and we have to fight our own. You know I never looked at my mother as a daughter in law ever till I got married. It is then when I realized how much she must have struggled to keep her relations. It goes for all the women and men around. Never saw my dad as a husband. Good or bad is a different question. He was just ‘My Daddy’ till then…after I got married I realized he was a man too with emotions and would get hurt too.

So many relations and emotions we understand only when we reach that stage and then we feel yeah our parents were correct.

So you see, to make them happy put yourself in their shoes and then assess what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes you simply follow what they say and quietly do the desired. It is not necessary to raise a NO for everything. Sometimes you must just ignore and let things be. It all depends how much you can take and what the situation demands. At times the elders can be really obstinate and stubborn but that it is time when you must use some tact and take a path that is good for all. Did they not bear your tantrums and anger outbursts?

Just be good, don’t try and make them happy. In your happiness lies their happiness. 

I’m sure as parents you must be feeling the same for your child as I do. As a mother when I feel – My kids should not make the same mistakes that I did. I can save them from the disasters I made through in life. Though they will fall but am sure they will bounce back. That makes me happy. 

Listen to your heart. In a nutshell, all parents and elders look for is a little love and respect, despite the differences. But then, don’t we all do the same…!!!